Praying for the One

Today in Fast & Testimony meeting a woman got up and pleaded with her ward family to pray for her daughter who had fallen away from the church.  It reminded me of when I had bore my testimony in May in our ward.  The first thing Paul said when I returned to my feet was that I should have asked the ward to fast and pray for Jackson to help him with his decision to go on a mission.  In hind site, it may have been a good idea and on the other hand, it may have humiliated him, but either way, he decided no to serve a mission, at least for this year. Any who, that is besides the point that I am trying to get at.  The point I am trying to make is that good Christian's who believe in the power of prayer and sometimes even those that do not, are in some way or another praying for someone who is lost.  In my life it is more than one.

Dear Heavenly Father,
or as Judy Blume put it,
"Are you there God, it's me (Mikki)",
I know I pray for this and I always pray for that, but I really need to pray about a few things, for a few important people in my life.
The more I do to get closer to you, the more Paul get's worked by Satan.  The more he get's worked, the more conflict there is between us.  The more I pray for patience, the more my patient is tried.  I get it, this is how it works. This is how faith and obedience is tested. But I am not confident that it is working.  I feel resentment towards Paul, I feel disappointed in who he is, and who I am when I react to him and on and on and on the vicious cycle goes.
It is the same with my children, the more I push it seems the farther they pull away from me, from you, from our family.  My boys have no sense of duty to you or each other, and I take the blame for that.  They have been raised with mixed signals, not only from Paul, but me.  The world is pulling all of us, very successfully.
When I started this letter, it was about them, but I know it is really about me.
I need strength, I need enlightenment, guidance, patience, understanding, tolerance, guts, and I need to be more humble, balanced, moderate, and loving.
I need you.
I want my husband to know you, I want my children to choose to follow you, and I want us to be an eternal family.
I want the entire package.
I know you are there.
I know you hear my prayers.
And I know you want it more than me.
I am praying for me, so that I can better pray for them.
So I can better live this gospel, for them, and for me, and for us!

xo mp

Get To Work!

We had our annual Kane Ohana Reunion this past weekend.  It was at our home in Sandy, Utah.  We gathered to celebrate our three high school graduates, Kavika Ikuna Fonua, Jackson Paulo Barton & Mikayla Kane and also to witness the baptism of Keawe Shannon Alexis Wilson.  As I tried to go to sleep tonight, my thoughts reflected on the words I had bore in fast & testimony meeting.

Dear Keawe,

     I have the number 3 on the back of my reunion shirt, indicating my place out of the seven children born to your grandpa & grandma Kane.    How grateful I am to have been born to goodly parents into the fold of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I have been taught all my life that I am a "Child of God" and to "Choose the Right" and that "Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam" that needs to shine for Him each and every day.  Sadly, I do not remember much from my baptism, about how I felt or even if I understood the promises that I was making.  But, you sweet Keawe know, and testified today how you feel "peace in your soul" about what you chose to do.  I feel that you are one of the special spirits that have come to fulfill a great purpose for your Heavenly Father. 

     You are number 18 cousin on your reunion shirt.  Do you wonder what number you are out of the billion, trillion, or gazillion number of spirits that have come to this earth?  Like my baptism experience, we do not remember the promises we made before we came to earth, but I do know that we made them and we are blessed to be members of an organization that teaches us how to pray, to read God's word in scripture, to follow the advice of a living prophet, to listen and obey the promptings of the Holy Ghost so that we can know the work that our Heavenly Father and Jesus has for us to do every day.  If you stay faithful to your covenants, you will hopefully take the next step and go to the temple and make more promises.  Then you will be able to hear the words in the initiatory that remind you that you will protected until you have finished your work on the earth.  That is why we are here, to do His work.  

     Thank you for choosing to follow Jesus.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reflect upon my testimony and of spiritual things.  It is a blessing that we are part of an eternal ohana. We both have a work to do with our own little earthly flock. But remember, there is one fold and one shepherd Keawe, welcome to the family.  

     Let's Get to Work!

xomp

     

     

Behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord

New Year's Day 2014
What a big day a far as days go in the year, and for me, it was made more special by Jacky's Ordination of receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood from my dad.  A good way to start out the year before he goes off to college, a Utah Man, with the higher Priesthood to go with him, along with words of advice from our good Bishop Pingree reminding us to notice the spiritual moments in our life and to remember that we chose in the premortal to follow Christ, and also from the Stake representative, Bro St Clair pointing out that it is through the spirit that sacred things are shared and finally, from Grandpa Kane the emotion filled declaration of gratitude for family. The cherry on top was a visit from Elder Harris and newly appointed companion Elder Abgee, leaving us with a message from Enos about feeling whole through our faith in Jesus Christ.
My cup runneth over!

Paul, Jackson, Cody, Dani and Lander,

I am reading a book called Visions of Glory by John Pontious.  It is about a man's true story of visions and near death experiences and what he has learned.  I love the little nuggets that touch my heart and speak to my spirit and I want to share a few with you at the beginning of this New Year.
First, let me start with what has been on my heart since the 2013 Christmas season began.  I love that Mary, faithfully and humbly said to the angel Gabriel, "Behold the Handmaiden of the Lord." In that moment, she was probably scared and confused, yet because she was prepared and believed, she was ready to do her duty to God.  (Paul, I know you love that word DUTY.)
Like the "Spencer" in the book, she agreed to do the work that the Lord asked her to do that was for all mankind, for you, for me in that very moment that she was asked.  "God really does count every moment of our lives, and if we let Him guide us, those moments become eternally significant." pg 16.  The moment she said "Behold," it became the most significant moment of all time!
Are you ready, and willing to say those same words and then actually follow through in those moments that the Lord needs your voice and your hands to do His work?  Am I?
I want to be more in tune with the spirit, because I am pretty sure that an angel will not visit me and tell me what to do.  I need to listen to those promptings and thoughts, and take the challenge that Bishop Pingree gave me in December to act on them, even if they seem silly.
I know that my life has meaning, that God is in the details of my life and that everything I do has a divine purpose.  And because I know that, I need to be more diligent in paying attention to those moments when God is in need of me to do his work, however small it may be.
I am grateful for the work that he has trusted me to do with all of you.
I pray that you can all know, deep in your heart, what I know to be true, real and wonderful!
My wonderful family.
You are all my DUTY!
I love you all!
xomp

"...we are truly His work and His glory.  We are what He is doing.  We are what He is about." pg 18 VofG